Tuesday 26 October 2010

Exploring my sub side further

Recently Jay has been asking me what I want out of hypnosis, and to this I answered, “I don’t know” because genuinely, I don’t. Jay was the one who first got into hypnosis, and being the good sub I am, I have just gone a long with him, enjoying all these new weird and wonderful experiences. I had never really thought about where I wanted this to end up on a deeper level. Improving my amnesia skills and one day having the ability to see magical creatures both appeal though.

So I decided to ask him where he would like to go with hyno and got the simple answer “complete control” my reaction to this was very much spilt, half of me (probably Trixie’s influence) got very excited and turned on straight away but the other half was very scared!

It is not that I do not trust Jay, far from it, but part of me just panicked. I’m a very creative person, with at times strong opinions and being ‘different’ is such a big part of me so I think the side of me that was scared was worried that I would lose this free spirited part of myself if I give myself to him fully.

That night Jay tried getting me to give myself over to him by confessing it out loud that he owned me, all of me, and at the time high on my need for an orgasm and a little of Trixie popping in it was all fine, in fact it was very good and a real turn on. But the next day something changed and I freaked out about it due to the above reasons and other pressures in my life.

Over the next few days we spoke more and more about it all not really coming up with a solution. Then we decided to use a script written by Lex to work on giving Jay a trigger to completely control me. This wasn’t like Trixie were she is a slave but has her own mind, it’s more mindless and controlled. We played with this throughout the week getting great results and I was really enjoying it.

So this last weekend, Jay and I were heading to a hypno meet in Bristol, meeting up with some like-minded hypnotists and hypnotees. We went to show off our new skills and pick up some help and advice.

The weekend went down a treat, we learnt a lot of good tips on how to improve certain aspects and Jay and Lex had fun playing with mine and Liz’s triggers in the hotel bar, causing a lot of frustration for both us, and I’m sure for the onlookers. But the best part came when we went to bed, as it usually does ;). As Jay and Lex had kept playing with my hornyness, I was very horny by the time we were heading to bed, sadly Jay said he was not so I asked him to play with our orgasm scale before I exploded, but he did a lot more then that :-).

Jay decided he wanted to try and completely control me again after the success we had had with the script. We sat and talked about it and worked out my issues, and he promised to work with me so that this time I did not freak out, and so he began. He started with getting me to move my mind into his hands, much like we do with pain, pushing out those thoughts and feelings but this time I was also giving my fears and all my thoughts away making me blank. I think because when we move the pain out into his hands we give the pain a colour I gave my thoughts a colour, or more a glow!!! So as my thoughts moved into Jay he started to light up with a glow (and yes I know this sounds a little crazy) and when they came back we were connected through this glow, becoming truly one (again I know it sounds a little crazy but really this is how it felt). I was so intoxicated by this glow and felt so connected to Jay that it was easy to give over control and not stop myself giving everything to Jay. This felt so good and so intense even recalling it now has got me excited and almost out of breath, this ended in me having a great orgasm which seemed to last continuously for about 5 minutes, which as you can imagine was simply AMAZING!

The next morning I didn’t feel any different to the night before like the first time we tried this. I still felt relaxed and at ease with all that happened and like I said before even recalling it has made me horny so hopefully this good feeling will last and we can really use it enhance everything else.


Elle

No comments:

Post a Comment